I miss the sound of your voice....

After we hung up, I wasn't tired so I watched yesterday's episode of House (it was good by da way). As I was watching it, I looked at my phone and noticed that 10 minutes prior, you called and left an amazing voicemail. After we hung up, I held down the 1 key and listened to your message from Monday and I cried when you said you missed the sound of my voice. I then sucked it up and walked back into the room, asked Matt if he was going to bed soon (he said no) so I put House on.

After hearing that message, I thought of the old cliche saying, "you don't appreciate something until you don't have it anymore." I have always appreciated your love and how much you do love me don't get me wrong, but it hit me so hard. You knew I was upset and I cried twice on the phone, especially because you were so heartbroken but I lost it when we hung up.

There isn't much anymore that makes me happy. Sure I have music and the Flyers are winning and I'm writing for the paper and baseball is around the corner and I'm satisfied with all of that but I'm not truly happy unless I talk to you and hear your voice.

I'm honestly lost with out you. A day without you is like a day without breathing. Every breath I take is just another moment to love you. Without being able to tell you that hurts far worse than the pain of a broken bone or torn ligament.

I miss you so much and I appreciate you more as each breath is breathed. I love you so much, Giovanna. Forever and ever and a day. This will all work itself out in the end.

"I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in..."

Come one get higher, baby : ) I'm always here. I love you <3

My DMB Fat Tuesday

First off, I do not have a band that controls my life. For the past 4 years, the Dave Matthews Band has influenced my life and helped me find a place of solace. Whether it's been finding secret messages to help me with everyday challenges, a subtle reminder of how great life is and to cherish it, or to cope with the loss of a loved one, DMB has helped me get past my shitty days and has driven my best.

So with less than 14 hours left of DMB listening, I have decided to listen to atleast 2-3 shows during the day. I'm going to be starting with 8/9/08 from the Alpine Music Theater in East Troy, MI. It's a great show featuring the famous Anyone Seen the Bridge -> Too Much (fake) -> Halloween.

The next 3 shows I'm considering. One is 7/10/04 in Hershey, PA. This show is amazing and features all four 2004 songs (Sugar Will, Crazy Easy, Good Good Time, and Joy Ride). All are pretty much defunct with the exception of Sugar Will. It also features a great Rhyme and Reason and one of the most amazing versions of Jimi Thing I have ever heard.

The next show is 10/2/07 at the Hollywood Bowl in California. This show was incredible featuring an amazing #41 with John Mayer, Exodus with the Wailors, and five sons featured Danny Barnes on banjo. The show also had an amazing encore with American Baby Intro going into Grey Street with a nice transition by Butch Taylor on the keys.

I am currently downloading this last show, 7/7/01 at Soldier Field in Chicago, IL. This show features the 5 or 6 famous Pig teases where Dave refused to play it because so many people brought Pig signs to the venue. He states many times angrily in the IEM recording of the show how he won't play it to the band. The show opened with Grey Street which is personal favorite of mine, especially that version.

Since I've listened to 7/10/04 so much, I may start with Alpine into Chicago and maybe try to fit in Hershey or Hollywood. So there we go. My last 14 hours with DMB before I go 40 straight days of fresh music and new inspirations.

"Find some inspiration, it's down deep inside of you." - Boyd Tinsley "True Reflections"

39th annual Jazz Festival leaves audience riveted

I'm going to post all my articles that posted in The Whit, Rowan University's school paper. Here is my first ever post about the Jazz Festival held on Feb. 13, 2009:

It was an amazing night of nostalgia in Pfleeger Hall, capping off the 39th Annual Jazz Festival as students and professors took the audience on a journey through the pieces of two great jazz composers, George Gershwin and Cole Porter.

“It was an excellent show,” said Lillian Robinson, of Williamstown.

The show was split into two sections. The Rowan University Lab Band, directed by Denis Deblasio, took the stage first. The Rowan University Jazz Band, directed by George Rabbai, soon followed, with a guest performer on jazz trumpet throughout the show.

The show was highlighted by many student performances, including the solos of three sax players: freshman Giovanni Petrilli, junior Dan Myers, and sophomore Josh Freysinger. Senior drummer Brandon Blackburn led both bands with his stellar play and was supported by bassists Victor Caraballo and sophomore Andrew Bohn.

Stealing the show was vocalist Siiyara Nelson, who performed on Porter’s “Begin the Beguine” and Gershwin’s “A Foggy Day (In London Town)” and “Our Love is Here to Stay.”
Arlean Keller, of Glassboro, who was there with her husband and friends, has attended the Jazz Festival for the past 35 years and was particularly impressed by Nelson.

“I loved her,” said Keller. “She had an amazing voice.”

The show kicked off with the Lab Band performing Gershwin’s “So Wonderful,” which featured Myers on the baritone saxophone. The band then went into Porter’s “Love For Sale,” with Petrilli providing an excellent solo, and pianist Eric Aldrich laying down the keys.

Gershwin’s “Someone to Watch Over Me” was next on the list, featuring Myers again on the baritone sax. Nelson then made her first appearance on Porter’s “Begin the Beguine,” with Jared Lynch on jazz guitar. That was followed by the instrumental arrangement of Gershwin’s “A Foggy Day,” featuring juniors Matt Martin on saxophone, Owen Cunningham on flute and Blackburn on the drums.

The crowd was then treated with a special appearance by the head of the opera department, Marian Stieber. She sang Gershwin’s “Summertime,” with the addition of Petrilli on the saxophone.

The tempo picked back up with Porter’s “Fascinating Rhythm,” performed by juniors Samantha McLeod on flute and Mike Zdeb on guitar. Lynch then led the band in Porter’s “In the Still of the Night” on guitar. “I Loves You Porgy” was the next Gershwin song performed, featuring Rabbai on the jazz trumpet. Many may have recognized this song when it was performed by Christina Aguilera during the 2003 Grammy’s.

The first set was then capped off when the members of the Women’s Choir (WOCHO) came out to sing on a medley of two Gershwin tunes, “Fascinating Rhythm” and “I Got Rhythm,” with the latter containing a drum solo by Blackburn. Myers also soloed on the baritone sax.

After the break, the Jazz Band entertained the crowd with four Gershwin songs, starting off with singer Nelson and saxophonist Freysinger performing “A Foggy Day.” Alumni Phil Verespy did a guest solo of “I’ve Got a Crush on You,” a song that was made popular by Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra.

Nelson then came out and sang on “Our Love is Here to Stay” with Rabbai on jazz trumpet. The Jazz Band closed out the show with the swinging “But Not For Me.”

Both bands were exceptional, especially with the energy the Jazz Band brought during their short performance.

The Grammy's

I am fucking fed up with the Grammys. First off, I only watched them to see the tribute for LeRoi Moore in the deceased artists tribute. Guess what? They didn't fucking mention him. He won a fucking Grammy back in 1996 but it's OK. Go ahead and suck the dicks of Lil' Wayne, Justin Timberlake, and Coldplay: a group of people with half the talent of Roi combined.

Speaking of Lil' Wayne. I don't want to knock on him. He has a lot of class and I have a lot of respect for him as an artist. I wish his rock album project good luck in competing with DMB's new album. I do believe he got shafted in album of the year, losing to Robert Plant and Allison Kraus but at least it wasn't Coldplay.

So on to the performances. I thought most of them were great. Some not so much. TI, MIA and whoever were good but that bitch is pregnant and should no way be in public view. Paul McCartney was awesome, especially having Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters play drums for him. Robert Plant and Kraus were OK. I think Kraus sucks hence why it didn't deserve to win album of the year. BB King, John Mayer, Keith Urban, and I think that was Buddy Guy (not an expert on what these great blues guitarists look like) did an amazing jam. Neyo and Jamie Foxx sang with Smokey Robinson and another guy of the 4 Tops and did two of their hits and were phenomenal. Neyo's voice is excellent in my opinion. Justin Timberlake was actually pretty good and I'll give him credit. Not a fan but he was good. U2 sucks.

Now tot he highlight of the show, at least for me. Blink 182 reunited to give an award and guess the fuck what. THEY'RE BACK!!

I'm still sore about Roi being forgotten and my girl friend is still pissed about Lil' Wayne. Whatever. It happens. Fuck politics!

If my life was run by music (as if it isn't already)

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, answer with the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits:
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams

Waking Up:
Hold On - Kansas

First Day Of School:
Misty Mountain Hop - Led Zeppelin

Falling In Love:
Mellisa - Allman Brothers Band

First Song:
Mother - Pink Floyd

Fight Song:
Love Gun - KISS

Breaking Up:
Boom - POD

Prom:
Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones

Life:
Doin' Time - Sublime

Mental Breakdown:
Ordinary Average Guy - Joe Walsh

Driving:
Patience - GnR

Flashback:
Don't Do Me Like That - Tom Petty

Getting Back Together:
Scarlet Begonias - Grateful Dead

Birth Of Child:
Foreplay/Long Time - Boston

Final Battle:
The Pretender - Foo Fighters

Death Scene:
American Pie - Don McLean

Funeral Scene
Another One Bites the Dust - Queen (wow)

End Credits:
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - Led Zeppelin

That Particular Moment...

You ever just listen to a song or a version of a song and it just makes you stop and think? Has it ever really made you feel like you missed someone so much and they are there with you while you are listening to that song? I have had that moment three times in the past year. It's not just an emotional climax of a song but a feeling that completely over comes you.

When I lost my grandmother back in April, the first thing I did was put on Lie In Our Graves by DMB. The reprise hit me so fucking hard but it let me realize that my grandmother spent her living days well. As me and my dad (it was his mother) were driving the next day after the funeral, I put my iPod in on his car and put on LIOG and told him to listen. That was one of the moments that got him into DMB casually.

That was my first moment. The second was N2 in Camden (less than 2 months since her death). They played Granny 3rd in the show and I was so happy to hear it because that was the other song that reminded me of her. Later in the show, they played LIOG. I was upset they didn't do the reprise but during that solo by Boyd, I cried. Not teared up but fuckin' cried. It was the best solo of his I have ever heard in any song in my honest opinion. It was so melodic and pure music. It wasn't like one of his fiddle solos. It had so much energy behind it that it felt like he was playing it for her.

The third happened the other day. I know in my previous post I wrote about LT14 and how much I miss LeRoi Moore. Well that feeling of missing him kinda hit again. It wasn't even during a song he played on. The show was 8/29/08 at the Gorge. Roi had died 10 days prior to this show. The band was inbetween songs and the crowd just went nuts, throwing glow sticks on the stage which obviously the band was overcome with emotion, they then went in #41, a song Dave claimed Roi HATED. It was during the second refrain where Dave sings "I wanted to play, I wanted to love you" that it was known that he was crying through the song. The video is on Youtube and you can see the pain in his face.

I know I have an obsession with DMB music. It's the music that drives me though. It's so unconventional but emotional, kinda like me. I'm not perfect and never will I be. That's what this music does for me. It helps me through my tough times too. It's my medicine and I don't care what other people think of my listening habits. DMB's music has become a major part of my life.